Night Terror? Sleep Paralysis? or something more transcendental?
This morning at around 04.06.21 04:21, I had a terrifying dream experience.
I must speak or write before the emotional flavor of my epiphany evaporates. This attempt to share is a sort of Hail Mary attempt; an s.o.s message in a bottle from my deserted island. Because there’s only a tiny likelihood that the full flavor of my panic will resonate with the listener. In this vein, I feel that the painter, Edvard Munch was really doing likewise via his painting, “The Scream”.
Why do I bother to share this experience? People can’t feel the emotion I want to share. Rather, they may notice me frantically flailing about and dismiss me as demented. Why this impotence? Perhaps the explanation is that we coexist in parallel dimensions of consciousness and true communication in an immersive sense with the apparition you perceive as another human is a vain struggle.
In one dream scene, I deliberately fell off the bed as I had done in the past and hit the ground with dead weight. This time, I was trying to persuade Felix, my neighbor, to grab my hand. I was experiencing a kind of paralysis and wanted him to help. My limbs weren’t responding to my neural commands. The terror was emotionally real. To make matters worse, I saw a big sleeping black snake with a tail like a platypus under the bed and was afraid to awaken it. My panic of impotence was emotionally real; So real in fact that I hit the ground and felt the pain. And yet, this time the strategy failed to shock me back into my familiar frequency. This time it didn’t wake me up; to put it another way, it didn’t bring my consciousness into the frequency of the same familiar dimension as my neighbor, Felix. My hands pass through the ghostly apparition as I scream for his attention. Frustratingly he seems to ignore me. However, it’s because I am merely imagining that my voice carries. I am really talking to myself or trying to interact with an object that is not on my dimensional frequency.
I fear that, once the emotional experience of this dimensional encounter evaporates, it will be relegated to merely a bad dream. I am determined not to waste the insight. The vivid power of the message and depiction of separate coexisting dimensions must be retained. The frustrating impotency to emotionally communicate is terrifying. Even worse is the inability to communicate with one’s own neurons and thus endure a sort of paralysis is nightmarish. A kind of sleep apnea.
Sleep Paralysis as an intellectual explanation merely describes an event. It’s like experiencing combat and the emotional terror of a near-death encounter and relating it in the cryptic terminology of “post traumatic stress disorder”. And, soon the emotional reality is downgraded. If in my dream I was trying to fall off the bed and actually succeeded to do that in the waking realm…then a dream is not mere fantasy. Is it?
What is reality? Is it an intellectual definition or is it the actual emotional experience? How can emotive reality be accurately shared or communicated? Textual symbols or gestures or the spoken word are inadequate so we try to recreate the feeling with other artificial metaphors like art and music.
How can emotional reality be accurately shared?
Virtual reality technology as enriched media lends a promise for sharing.
Better yet, a brain wave camera